I’m Back…hopefully for good (or at least a very long time)

Right where do I begin?

I’ve started this several times now and haven’t got to the end.

I’ve said to myself that I want to get back to blogging, but that’s writing and honestly my head and my heart haven’t really been wanting to.

It’s been over a year since I last posted.

And as I’ve said, I’ve started writing a new post several times and been prompting myself to write for a while now. It’s not that I haven’t been bothered or that I don’t love writing anymore – I do. I just haven’t wanted to. It comes and goes I guess. Most of the time I would have powered on through this lack of enthusiasm (it isn’t quite that but it’s probably the closest word to it), but it’s been hard. Really hard.

As a family in August 2016, we received some devastating news. A year on and the reality has hit me. I recently lost my Mum to cancer (she was only 62). So throughout her battle I haven’t really wanted to put pen to paper, but I think that I’m starting to now. I’ve started writing letters to her, I hoping it’s going to help me get some thoughts out. From this I think I’m ready again to start doing what I love – writing.

Writing letters to my Mum and blogging again will hopefully led to me being in the right frame of mind to write. I’ve been forming an idea for a new book in my head, which is slowly developing. In fact I even scribbled down some notes about it today.

So bear with me if my return to my blog is a bit sporadic, I’m hoping that I can promise it will get better. No. I promise it will get better. I can’t say what my blogs will all be about, I’m predicting a large part will be about writing, but other things may crop up.

A blog develops naturally over time. But I guess being away from one so long it will develop unnaturally – and quickly. So it may not be the same blog as it was before. But I’m sure it won’t change too much, but it may read differently. (It may not!) But it is still the same person writing as before, just a different version of me who is still very much emotionally numb, in shock and scarred all at the same time. I can promise one thing though, my blog won’t turn into a memorial nor will it be page after page, blog after blog about me talking about my crap 2017.

Goodbye, for now.